boeshane_boy

Entry tags:

Ω 08

Strip twister. The twentieth. No danger of flying balls. Well - not the rubber kind. Anyone interested, stop by my room. Level three, room fifteen. I think everyone could use the lift after that mess in the dining hall.

Speaking of, any new information on that? I saw someone was looking into the radiation.

Saxon, you've been quiet. That keeps up, you'll give me an ulcer. I don't like ulcers. Tell me you're not wearing those awful clothes anymore.

Did anyone get hit by this that I really ought to know about?

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[Smiling] Oh yeah? Rakes?

No, leaders. Do you think I cannot see that under your rakishness? [his voice and ability to put sentences together has gotten stronger with the practice]

It puzzles me, because you're not like Percy at all. And yet... [a small shrug]

[Jack's smile gets a little tight, and he ducks his head.] Trust me, I'm not much of a leader.

Who's Percy?

I think you may be. Inspirational at least.

[he looks down]

My brother-in-law.

[His jaw's tightening, and all he's thinking about is how he inspired Ianto to go out and die with him.]

What's he like?

He is wise and strong-hearted. He is much smarter than people give him credit for being.

Sounds like a good guy.

He is. I wish I could be like him.

What's wrong with being just like you?

I'm not heroic.

[That got a laugh.] Neither am I.

[drops his chin] You don't understand. I have to find my honor again to be worthy of my wife.

[yes, that's convoluted silly Armand-logic]

[Jack tilts his head, frowning vaguely.] How's that?

I did something awful, dishonorable, to protect her. I am not worthy of her love at the moment. [If he was seeming chipper before, he now leaned back as if tired. This was a topic he normally avoided, but Jack was strangely easy to talk to.]

[Part of his charm. Jack frowned lightly, letting his hand rest on Armand's forearm.] You protected her, though. Sounds like the best thing you could've done.

[Armand worried his lower lip and turned his faced away.] There must have been a better way. I did what I did for her, but in the end, it was not my actions that saved her.

[OOC: I am really enjoying this. I hope you don't mind continuing slowly. I don't think this affects plot anywhere. I'm technically on hiatus but I want to finish existing things as they need finishing.]

Does that matter? [He's not even trying for eye contact. Too busy feeling like a hypocrite.]

(((Not at all! Jack's a harder character for me to keep up, so it's slow on my end as well. xp)))

It does to me and perhaps to God. I broke an oath, and betrayed a man to whom I owed my own life. He nearly died. [His voice isn't faint, but very low and rough with regret.]

[I just happen to be awake tonight.]

Edited 2010-04-03 05:15 (UTC)

Could be worse, Armand.

(((I envy your awakeness.)))

[Oh, how he's tempted to ask how, but he can think of at least two ways it could be worse.] Of course, you're right, but that it isn't worse is none of my doing.

[Jack smiles, just a little, and shakes his head.] You don't have to be the hero, you know. Not being the hero doesn't make your honor disappear.

[He grits his teeth to keep from retorting to that too quickly. Armand doesn't have the energy actually to argue with someone. So when the speaks, his words aren't particularly hot.] Tis dishonorable though to betray a man to certain torment. I feel the in my heart. I know I did wrong by him, and I cannot fix it.

[Okay, that he can understand. Jack runs a hand through his hair.] Why can't you?

It's done. Percy rescued himself. He wanted me nearby but he didn't need my help. And he asked me to keep lying to Margot, my sister. [By now, Armand has no idea why he's telling Jack more than he's told anyone else on the Barge. Some knew because they'd read the book, but Armand doesn't know that particular Orczy book exists. He's read a few of the others.]

[Jack stays silent for a while, picking at imagined dust on Armand's blanket.] What was he asking you to lie about?

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